The Music Defines Us
by lizzybennettdarcy
Summary: A series of One-shots inspired by the song I happen to like the most at that moment. Puckleberry love/friendship.
1. A More Beautiful You

**Hey guys, I promise I'm not starting a new story. This is just how I get over writer's block and I felt like sharing them with you. I only have two written right now, so you might not see more than one update a week. I will also have a chapter up of one of my other stories tonight. My alerts aren't working currently, so I hope that yours are. These stories are strictly one-shots. The song is More Beautiful You by Jonny Diaz. I changed the ages mentioned in the song. Enjoy!**

**I own nothing.**

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><p>Puck sat back in his chair as he felt the wave of nausea sweep over him. Finn Hudson had finally broken down everything that made Rachel great. He'd spent the last two years jumping between her and Quinn, enough to fuck both of them up. He rubbed his ears just in case he'd heard her wrong.<p>

"I'm going to be undergoing a minor procedure to fix the damage caused during practice the other day. If the doctor happens to do some cosmetic work while he's at it, then so much the better." She announced primly.

Nope, he heard her clearly and it was still bullshit. His giant idiot of an ex-BFF had broken her nose the day before because he couldn't dance to save his life. Now Rachel was using it as an opportunity to change who she was. He sighed loudly in aggravation.

The Rachel Berry he knew didn't care what people thought of her. She was proud of her nose because it made her feel closer to Barbra.

"You mean you're getting a nose job." He retorted bluntly when no one else commented.

He watched as she bristled a bit at being called out. Well if she wanted to be an idiot and throw away her uniqueness, then he'd be an asshole and call it how it was.

"No, Noah," She glared at him. "I merely need to have the damage fixed and the doctor thought that maybe-"

"But he could fix the break without changing your nose right?" He interrupted her rudely.

She made an impatient noise in the back of her throat and he bit back a grin when he noticed her trying not to stomp her foot.

"Well, yes I suppose that he could. He however thought that-"

"I don't care what he thought Berry. Don't tell me that your parents are on board with this bullshit." He stared at her, ignoring Schue's quiet admonition about his language.

Rachel glared at him angrily for a few moments before turning away from him.

"This is not up for discussion. I was merely explaining that I will be unable to dance for the next few weeks after the procedure." She announced snottily before re-taking her seat at the front.

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><p>Puck sat in disbelief the next day when she showed up with a folder full of pictures of her with <em>Quinn's nose. <em>It was official he was going to kill Finn Hudson. But first he was going to call her on her shit again.

"This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard." He exploded angrily as he threw the folder on the floor.

Rachel took a step back before setting a neutral expression on her face and standing her ground.

"Noah, I don't know what you're talking about."

"But Rachel, you're beautiful the way you-" Finn started before Puck cut him off angrily.

"Shut the hell up Hudson. She wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for you. If you could just pick one of them then maybe they'd both stop hating themselves." He yelled furiously, standing in his seat. Finn to his credit at least had the decency to look ashamed. His eyes met Quinn's and he could tell how deeply the words affected her as well. But if no one else was going to call it the way it was then he would.

"Noah-"

"No Rachel, you think that nobody else realises exactly why you want Fabray's nose? Because every single one of us knows that this is about Finn." He snapped, pointing at her as he made his way down the risers.

Rachel's eyes left his own and fell to the floor. He felt his anger dissipating but felt the need to add one more thing before storming out Berry-style.

"It's pathetic and I'm disappointed in you." He added quietly and her eyes shot back up to meet his in surprise. "You should be disappointed in you too Rach. You're special and you're throwing it away for an asshole that will never be worth your time. You're going to regret this later, because it only means that you don't like yourself anymore. Right now you're changing your appearance, next year you'll be giving up on Broadway for him. I'm disappointed Rach, and I wish you remembered just how great you are."

He sent her one last pleading look before walking out the door. He reached into his pocket for his phone and called Kurt as he headed for the parking lot.

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><p>Puck had danced along with the rest of the flash mob and kept his eye on her. He and Kurt had spent the last two days planning this. She was smiling but he could still see the doubt in her eyes. Kurt had called him that night and told him that she was still thinking about going through with the surgery.<p>

Which is why he was currently sitting on a stool in front of the choir room, clutching his guitar. He waited until the club had all taken their seats before starting to strum on his guitar. He had spent the whole night before writing words to the melody he'd been working on for weeks. He was incredibly nervous about sharing one of his songs for the first time. He was starting to feel like he'd have to jump to extremes to get through to his fellow Jew though. He glared up at Hudson once more for good measure before opening his mouth to share his song. He moved his eyes to Rachel's and didn't look away.

**Little girl sixteen, flipping through a magazine**

**Says she wants to look that way**

**But her hair isn't straight, her body isn't fake**

**And she's always felt overweight**

He continued to watch Rachel, even as her gaze left his own and fell to the floor self-consciously.

**Well little girl sixteen I wish that you could see**

**That beauty is within your heart**

**And you were made with such care, your skin, your body and your hair**

**Are perfect just the way they are**

His eyes moved around the room for a moment and he noticed that most of his classmates were smiling.

**There could never be a more beautiful you**

**Don't buy the lies, disguises and hoops they make you jump through**

**You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do**

**So there could never be a more beautiful you**

His eyes moved to meet hers once more; she was looking up at him with tears of embarrassment shining in her eyes.

**Little girl seventeen the things you've already done**

**Anything to get ahead**

**And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan**

**Only wants what you will do instead**

He watched as her eyes narrowed slightly before looking over at Finn with something akin to sudden understanding in her gaze.

**Well little girl seventeen you never thought that this would come**

**You starve yourself to play the part**

**But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true**

**And he'll treat you like the jewel you are**

Her eyes widened as the declaration in his words and searched his face for confirmation as he continued into the chorus.

**There could never be a more beautiful you**

**Don't buy the lies, disguises and hoops they make you jump through**

**You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do**

**So there could never be a more beautiful you**

**A more beautiful you**

He smiled at her before heading into the bridge.

**So turn around you're not too far**

**To back away, be who you are**

**To change your path, go another way**

**It's not too late you can be saved**

**If you feel depressed with past regrets**

**The shameful nights hope to forget**

**Can disappear, they can all be washed away**

**By the one who's strong, can right your wrongs**

**Can rid your fears, dry all your tears**

**And change the way you look at this big world**

**He will take away your dark, distorted view**

**And with his light, he will show you truth**

**And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl**

He noticed that her eyes, though still wet, no longer looked sad and ashamed.

**There could never be a more beautiful you**

**Don't buy the lies, disguises and hoops they make you jump through**

**You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do**

**So there could never be a more beautiful you**

A beautiful grin had started to spread over her face as he sang the last words of his song.

**There could never be a more beautiful you.**

Puck strummed the last notes on the guitar and then bowed his head for a moment as everyone started to cheer wildly. He vaguely heard Mr. Schuester praising his performance and asking about the song, but his eyes had moved from the floor to Rachel. He tuned everything out as he waited for her reaction. The class quickly realised what was happening and fell silent. Rachel stared into his eyes searchingly for a few moments before standing from her seat and moving to stand in front of his stool slowly. His hands moved from his guitar to her hips instinctively and he heard her sigh quietly.

"That was a lovely song Noah," She whispered as she played with her fingers nervously. "You're a very talented songwriter.

"I wrote it for you." He answered truthfully and felt relief when her eyes finally rose to meet his own. He watched as her lips parted once or twice before closing in embarrassment. He pulled her closer to him. "I meant every word."

He cupped her face with one hand before leaning down to capture her lips gently. After a moment, he leaned back and smiled down at her softly.

"I know that you're still in love with Finn," He smiled when he saw the regret in her eyes. "I just need you to know that when you get over him, and you will, that I'll be here. Because I think you're perfect and it's been you for me since I tossed that first slushy."

Rachel looked up at him thoughtfully and smiled in a way that he'd never seen aimed in his direction before.

"I don't think you'll have to wait for very long." She answered happily before throwing her arms around him in a hug.

She didn't get that nose job afterall.

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><p>Let me know what you think please! Thanks!<p> 


	2. Let It Be Me

**So I'm having a bit of a block when it comes to my other stories, so you might be seeing more of these one-shots than I had originally planned. The song is Let It Be Me by Ray Lamontagne. Enjoy!**

**I own nothing.**

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><p>Rachel walked into Glee club and took her place in the back corner. She had spent the last three months sitting back there in an attempt to stay out of the spotlight. She found that it was easier to be in that room when she wasn't in plain view of everybody all the time.<p>

The last three months had been the hardest of her life. Her father had been in a horrible accident and after a few weeks of unconsciousness succumbed to his injuries. Her Daddy had been inconsolable and since the funeral he had only been home once. She knew that he was in New York on business, and she was sure that when she graduated next year he'd move there completely. He had told her that it was simply too painful to be in that house without his husband. She hadn't complained about being left alone because she knew that once he had healed he would try to be there for her. She had hoped that her friends and boyfriend would take care of her in his absence.

A week after the funeral she had caught Finn sleeping with Santana. She had fled the room in tears and skipped school for the rest of the week. When she had returned on Monday he had cornered her at her locker and tried to excuse his actions.

"_Rach, I didn't mean to cheat on you. It's just that I don't know how to talk to you anymore. You're always crying and yeah I know that you're sad about your dad but I just don't know what to say to you."_

She had screamed at him for a few minutes, causing a bigger scene than either one of them were comfortable with. She had berated him for being insensitive and that she had thought he'd understand how she was feeling because his dad had died. She had yelled at him for cheating on her with her worst enemy. She had eventually resorted to punching him in the face and breaking his nose. She had thought that Noah would be so proud of her as she watched the blood gush from her ex-boyfriend's nose.

As if she hadn't been through enough, she had to deal with that fact that Noah was sitting Juvenile Detention. She had spent so many nights worrying about him. She almost preferred those nights over crying about her father and Finn. Oh how she missed Noah. He had become oher very best friend and she had been so distressed when she found out about the ATM incident and his subsequent punishment.

She had been spending so much time with Finn that she hadn't noticed that Noah was starting to drown in everything that had happened the year previous. If only she had been around a little more, been there to listen about Beth. So she had the regret and the guilt to add to the list of reasons why she was starting to lose any colour in her life. Everything seemed to be in shades of black and grey. She didn't even dream in colour anymore, though her nightmares were vivid nonetheless. She had taken to sleeping in the neutrally decorated guest room because waking up from a nightmare to see peptobismal walls had become distressing. Although, she didn't enjoy the colour during the day either.

She sat at the back of the choir room and ignored her fellow glee clubbers as they made their way into the room. Her Father had died and none of them had made an effort to be there for her. Even Mr. Schuester had blown past it like it would be best for everyone to ignore it all. He'd then spent the rest of the semester giving away her solos.

When Finn had cheated on her she'd heard some of her 'friends' laughing about it in the halls. Her father had died and they found it funny that Finn had hurt her further. The rest of the student body had completely backed off in their treatment of her, ignoring her mostly which she appreciated. She suspected it was because she looked so damn pathetic and sad, although it had been over a month since she'd last looked in a mirror so she couldn't be sure. But her own teammates felt the need to make her feel worse.

As the weeks turned into months, she found herself sinking into a deeper pit of unhappiness. She rarely cried and she never sang outside of Glee. Her clothes had gone from neatly put together skirts and animal sweaters to jeans and a lot of black. Noah's McKinley sweater made it's way into the rotation almost daily. Her hair fell limp and un-brushed and she never bothered putting on makeup. No one had noticed and by that point she didn't care anymore. She was only a part of Glee because while she was here, she wasn't home alone. If she was here, then she wasn't lying on her bed too depressed to eat. Glee was hell but the alternative was so much worse.

She leaned forward and placed her head in her hands, sighing tiredly. She did her best to block out the idle chatter of the group around her. She didn't need the reminder that everyone in Glee was friends except her. She heard Mr. Schuester talking but blocked out the words because it wasn't like he'd acknowledge her either way.

She thought of Noah and wondered how much longer he'd be in Juvie. She knew that he would have made things better if he was here. No matter how much he was hurting, he would have been there at the funeral. He would have punched Finn for her. He would have held her every time she cried. She missed him so much. He really was all that she had now and he wasn't here. He couldn't be here with her. She felt that last bit of hope she'd been holding onto slip. She was spiralling into hopelessness when the soft strumming of a guitar broke through her despair.

**There comes a time**

**A time in everyone's life**

Rachel's head whipped up and towards the front. Noah was sitting on the stool strumming on his guitar and singing.

**Where nothing seems to go your way**

**Where nothing seems to turn out right**

She rubbed her eyes in confusion as she continued to stare down at her best friend. She must be hallucinating. She had been wishing with all her might that she'd see him soon and here he was.

**There may come a time**

**You just can't seem to find your place**

She continued to stare at him as if he'd disappear. His voice was so lovely; at least her hallucination was accurate.

**For every door you open**

**Seems like you get two slammed in your face**

He smiled up at her and his eyes met hers as he headed into the chorus, singing the words earnestly.

**That's when you need someone**

**Someone that you can call**

Rachel searched his face hungrily as she realised that this wasn't a hallucination. The cruel world had finally given her something back; someone to pull her through the blackness that she was drowning in.

**When all your faith is gone**

**It feels like you can't go on**

He disappeared from her sight as her eyes began to blur through the tears. His words moved over her as she sat in amazement. She had just lost hope and he was here.

**Let it be me**

**Let it be me**

She wiped at the tears furiously and saw that he was still sitting there singing to her.

**If it's a friend you need**

And he was singing to her.

**Let it be me**

**Let it be me**

Apparently he knew what she'd been going through. The concern in his eyes showed exactly how worried he was about her. She had known that he'd care.

**Feels like you're always coming up last**

**Pockets full of nothing, Ain't got no cash**

His mother must have updated him on her father's accident, perhaps even what had happened with Finn as well.

**No matter where you turn, you ain't got no place to stand**

**You reach out for something and they slap your hand**

The smile had disappeared from his face but his eyes hadn't left hers and his voice still crooned sincerely.

**I remember all too well**

**Just how it feels to be all alone**

She realised with some embarrassment that he was seeing everything that everyone else had failed to see. He saw that her clothes were different and carelessly thrown together. He saw that her eyes were dull and the stress lines on her face. He definitely noticed that she'd lost more weight than she should have.

**Feels like you'd give anything**

**For just a little place you can call your own**

She was sure that he had noticed that despite her relief at seeing him, she hadn't smiled.

**That's when you need someone**

**Someone that you can call**

She wouldn't be surprised if he knew that she hadn't smiled since the day that her Father had died. Although truthfully she wasn't sure she'd smiled since Noah had been sent away.

**When all your faith is gone**

**It feels like you can't go on**

She wiped at the tears that hadn't stopped and just listened to his voice. He'd always been able to calm her and she had missed his voice.

**Let it be me**

**Let it be me**

Seeing him sitting there in front of her was a shining beacon of hope; because if anyone could save her, it was Noah.

**If it's a friend you need**

As she listened to his words she knew that he had every intention of saving her too.

**Let it be me**

**Let it be me**

She was aware of the stares coming off of her classmates, but her eyes never left Noah's. She didn't care if the gazes were concerned or just the sneers that she was used to.

**Let it be me**

**Let it be me**

Noah was back and nothing that any of them thought of said would ever matter.

**If it's a friend you need**

He was back and he would take care of her, she knew he would.

**Let it be me**

His words were a promise.

**Let it be me**

His eyes showed a love that could heal her.

**Let it be me**

His voice faded and he set his guitar aside just in time as Rachel stood and threw herself down the risers and into his arms. He pulled her into his lap and ran a hand through her hair as she held on for dear life. He whispered soothing words to her as her sobs filled the room. His eyes moved from her shaking body to his teacher and classmates.

He watched as they all flinched away from the heated glare he sent to them all. He was sure that his eyes were filled with the hatred that he held for every single one of them. He knew everything. He knew about her father and about Finn. He also knew that not one of them had been there for her. He knew that they'd teased her and pushed her into becoming the girl who was currently breaking in his lap. His eyes moved over each one of them slowly and he felt satisfaction every time one of them turned away from him in shame or fear. His eyes landed on Finn and he hoped that the boy understood that he was fucking dead if ever so much as thought about Rachel again. He skipped over Santana completely and he heard her whimper at the rejection. The two of them had been close, but he would choose Rachel. Every. Damn. Time.

Finally his gaze fell upon the teacher who deserved nothing, the one he hated most of all. The man was supposed to be a teacher for God's sake. If he was even a fraction of a man he would have done something for Rachel. The guilt was evident as he turned away from Puck in shame.

Disgusted with the people in front of him, he turned his attention to the only person worth having it. He cupped her face and removed it from his shoulder, forcing her to look into his eyes. Her eyes were bloodshot and broken and he wanted to rip every one of those assholes apart.

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, I promise," He whispered and he saw in her eyes that she believed him. "You will be whole again Rach."

He gently removed her from his lap and stood. He pulled her back into his arms and faced the Glee club.

"We quit. You're a bunch of pathetic, worthless pricks. I promise that every single one of you will have a slushy thrown in your miserable faces every single day for the rest of your high school experiences. Look what you fucking did to her." He gestured furiously towards the broken girl in his arms before turning to the teacher. "I'll have your job for this Schuester, that's a promise. You might actually be worse than all of them. They're teenagers. Horrible, selfish, cruel teenagers. You're an adult and as soon as I talk to Figgins, you'll just be another unemployed asshole. Every single one of you can go to hell."

He turned towards the door and draped his arm around Rachel's shoulders. Leading her out of that classroom for the last time with the promise that she'd be happy again. She believed him.

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><p><strong>Angsty, but it felt kind of true to how things were in Junior Year. Let me know what you think please. Thanks!<strong>


	3. Need You Now

**Hey guys, A lot of people asked me to write a followup to Let it be me but for now I'm not planning on it. Really I'm just writing these stories to get past the writer's block for Smooth Criminal and Lima Loser. This story is definitely different than my usuals. It's not happy Puckleberry and the dialogue is almost completely Meredith-Derek at the prom, season two Grey's Anatomy. I considered doing it from Rachel's POV and have her be the Meredith (because in the real dialogue the other guy's name is Finn and how perfect is that?) But I just couldn't have Finn being the nice guy and I kind of liked the idea of Rachel being the Derek in this fic. The rating is much closer to M because of Puck's mouth and brief mentions of sex. I hope you enjoy it despite the serious angst. For the record I adore Rachel, I just dreamed up this fic and she isn't very nice in it. The two updates in one day really just means I really am trying to get past this writer's block, I promise. Enjoy!**

**I own nothing Glee, Grey's Anatomy or Lady Antebellum related.**

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><p>Puck guided his date into the gymnasium and fought back a sigh when she squealed at the sight of the garish decorations. His eyes searched the room until he found a group of his friends sitting at one of the side tables. He noticed that Rachel and Finn had yet to arrive so he pulled his date over to their table. He watched with irritation as Mercedes' and Kurt's eyes moved over Jenny in arrogant appraisal. He felt the anger boiling below the surface and sent them both a glare. Who the hell did they think they were? It's not like he had much choice after everything that their friend had put him through. Jenny was nice and hot and would definitely give him head later. She also looked beautiful in her dark green dress.<p>

He heard Rachel's laugh coming from the entrance of the gym and pulled Jenny onto the dance floor before _Finchel_ appeared. The music was horrible but he and Jenny danced without incident for a few songs before he noticed Rachel and Finn dancing a few feet away.

He wondered if he was ever going to get over the anger that he felt towards her. He'd been half in love with her since they dated during sophomore year. This was something she was aware of and never seemed to feel bad about exploiting. She'd suckered him into filming that seriously lame 'Run Joey Run' video and then used him to make Finn jealous after the Santana incident.

What nobody was aware of was that they didn't just make out that one time. Finn dumped her and Rachel had spent the next five months in Puck's arms every night. She had assured him that she loved him but had never acknowledged their relationship at school. She had promised him that she wanted to be with him and that they would announce it after Nationals.

So imagine his shock when he stood in the background watching Finn kissing his girl and Rachel kissing him back with gusto. There had never been an explanation or an apology. She chose Finn and didn't bother ending things with Puck. He guessed that she didn't feel like there was anything worth ending with him. He was just a warm body who worshipped hers in a way that made her feel beautiful until Finn came back.

Every stupid decision he'd made since was because of that cold-hearted bitch. Shelby? Yeah the idea of being with his daughter's mom was appealing but the fact that she looked like Rachel made sleeping with her a must. When he was on top of her he could pretend that Rachel loved him. It didn't last and it made him even unhappier.

When they announced their engagement he turned back to his sophomore habits of self-medication. He was fairly sure that the only thing he contributed to Glee in the months that followed was amusing, pot-induced one-liners. The day of the wedding he stood beside his friends in his tux, completely numb to what surrounded him. He had added some Jack Daniels to the rotation the week before because he was sure that he wouldn't survive the wedding and aftermath without it.

He was fairly sure that he'd delivered the news about Quinn's accident with a smile on his face. It sounded fucked up but he already knew that Quinn was okay at that point and he was far too drunk to pretend he wasn't stoked that they'd have to postpone. In the weeks that followed the Berry men had finally sacked up and refused to allow the wedding to happen. He'd heard something about the wedding being postponed until the following year, but it had been months since he'd actually spoken to either one of them directly.

He had kind of hoped that by now he'd be over her. After Shelby he'd gone back to fucking cheerleaders and just recently had started dating one of them. Jenny was sweet and couldn't carry a tune to save her life which was a relief. She was beautiful with short red curls, freckles and a delicate nose. Her emerald eyes always seemed to sparkle. She was probably the exact opposite of Rachel in every way and the girl was worth fucking more than once. She did this thing with her tongue...

**Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.  
>Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore.<br>And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?  
>For me it happens all the time.<strong>

He wasn't over her though and he hated her for it. Here he was, dancing with his super hot girlfriend and not only was he thinking about Rachel but she was staring at him. She was wrapped up tightly in Finn's arms and she was fucking staring at him.

**It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.  
>Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.<br>And I don't know how I can do without.  
>I just need you now.<strong>

His grip tightened around Jenny reflexively as he stared back at her. As if he needed more bullshit, the asshole DJ decided that now would be a great time to play this song. Seriously? Couldn't he just catch a fucking break?

**Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.  
>Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.<br>And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?  
>For me it happens all the time.<strong>

He had spent the last year doing his very best not to look at her so he couldn't be sure if this staring was a new occurrence or not. But he decided that this whole staring at him from the arms of her fiancé made him hate her even more.

**It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now.  
>Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.<br>And I don't know how I can do without.  
>I just need you now.<strong>

His eyes left hers and pulled Jenny closer. She sighed into his chest contentedly and he tried to focus on that sound. She might not be the love of his life but she was definitely not going to hurt him the way the others had. His eyes moved back to Rachel in defiance.

**Oh whoa  
>Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.<strong>

He tensed in fury when he noticed her mouthing the words towards him. She was looking at him in a way that wasn't fair. In a way that made him want to hit her, and he does NOT hit girls. He broke her gaze and excused himself from Jenny. She was already dancing with a friend by the time he broke free of the gymnasium. He ran down the hallway, and in the direction of the choir room. He heard the last bit of the song as well as hurried footsteps following him.

**It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.  
>And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now.<br>Well I don't know how I can do without.  
>I just need you now<br>I just need you now.  
>Oh baby I need you now.<strong>

He had just entered the choir room when he heard a soft 'Noah' from behind him and the sound of closing doors.

"Noah." She repeated quietly and he ignored her again.

Her hand landed softly on his arm. He quickly tore his limb out of her grasp and turned to face her with a glare.

"Leave me alone." He spat angrily.

"Noah..."

"Just leave me alone Manhands. Just leave me the fuck alone." He growled.

"I just wanted to make sure you're alright." She said softly, staring at him with her big, brown eyes.

"No!" He yelled and she stepped back in surprise. "I'm not alright. Okay? Are you happy? I'm not alright!"

He watched as Rachel looked down at the floor before opening her mouth to reply. Shaking his head he continued.

"I'm not alright. Because you have a fiancé, and you treat me like a whore. You fucked me every night for months and then walked away without a word. Our friendship ended and now you're looking at me again! Stop looking at me!"

"I'm not looking at you. I am not looking at you Noah!" she replied stubbornly.

Puck shook his head and pointed a finger in her direction.

"You are looking at me. And you watch me, you were dancing with him and you were watching me. I'm with Jenny and you're with Finn. The two of you are getting married for God's sake," He ran a hand over his hair in frustration. "I'm with Jenny. She's sweet and gorgeous and funny. She likes me Berry. She's with me for real and she's your opposite. I am really trying to be happy here and I feel like I can't breathe. You left me. You chose him and I can't effing breathe when you look at me like that. So just stop. Stop."

Rachel stared at the boy in front of him and found herself yelling back.

"You think I want to look at you? That I wouldn't rather be looking at my fiancé? I'm engaged. I have responsibilities. He, he doesn't drive me crazy. He doesn't make it impossible for me to feel normal. He doesn't make me sick to my stomach thinking about another girl touching him with her hands. I would give anything not to be looking at you Noah." She finished heatedly.

Puck stared at her in frustration before turning towards the door. He wasn't surprised when he felt her pull him back and when he turned around she threw herself at him. Before he could process what was happening he had her flat on the piano and they were both missing clothes.

"God I need you." She whimpered, clutching him closer to herself.

He said nothing as he pushed into her without warning. The two of them went through the motions with more anger than love and within moments they were both spent and covered in a sheen of sweat. She had apparently expected him to stick around after if her angry 'Noah' was any indication.

He turned away from her as he adjusted his belt. He ignored the way her eyes followed his movements sadly.

"Put your clothes on." He snapped coldly as he worked on re-buttoning his shirt.

She was mumbling angrily as she readjusted her pale pink dress.

"What does this mean?" She asked quietly as he fussed with his clothes.

"Stupid fucking tie." He muttered as he clumsily worked on his tie.

"What does this mean?" She repeated in irritation.

"It doesn't," he replied as his eyes met hers coldly.

"But-"

"But nothing. You got one more night out of me. Congratulations." He glared at her furiously. "You got good and fucked and now you'll go back to being Finn's fiancé and I'll go back to Jenny. From now on you won't look at me because you lost that right when you chose Finn after months of lying to me. You used me and I'm better than this. I'm better than you. I'm done. The end."

The door swung open before Rachel could respond. Santana's eyes moved over the two of them before settling with a glare at Rachel. She didn't have to be a genuis to guess what they had been doing.

"They're about to announce Prom King and Queen." She announced as she stepped up to Puck.

She fixed his tie and smoothed out his jacket before he turned towards the door. The two girls heard a distinct and final 'Goodbye Rachel' as he left the room and headed back towards the gym. The finality in his tone assuring them both that he had no intention of ever speaking to Rachel again.

Santana turned towards Rachel and stalked forwards until they were chest to chest. Rachel was clearly trying to withstand the intimidation tactic.

"Listen here you evil, selfish, little hobbit. I tried for his sake to like you. I didn't give a shit about the loss at Nationals. I fucking hated you because you broke my best friend's heart." Rachel stepped back as the words hit her in the chest just the way that his goodbye had. "Leave him alone Berry. You've broken him enough for this life-time. Jenny might not be it for him but you aren't either."

She leveled one last glare at the shorter girl before turning towards the door. Rachel's eyes fell to the floor and she didn't notice that Santana had stopped just shy of the door.

"You could have been, you know. You were everything he wanted. You were just too damn arrogant and you took him for granted. Leave him alone Berry. He won't hit you but I promise I will."

Santana left the girl there and headed back towards the gym. She smiled genuinely when Puck was crowned alongside Quinn. At least everyone else thought Puck was worth it. She glanced towards his girlfriend and thought that maybe, just maybe she'd repair the damage that Rachel had done.

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><p><strong>Please let me know what you think of this story. I know that the story was totally different so I'd love to hear what everyone thought. Thanks!<strong>


	4. Repo Man

**Hey guys. So I received enough complaints about the last one-shot so I'm making it into a three-shot. This part is even angstier but I'll post the third and final part tomorrow. The song is Repo Man by Ray Lamontagne. Enjoy!**

**I own nothing.**

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><p>It had been a few days since the incident at prom. Puck tried to ignore the gossip as he walked down the hallways. Everyone was buzzing about the latest breakup of Finchel. He didn't know the details and he wasn't interested. He headed over to Jenny's locker and slipped his arms around her waist as she rifled through her locker. She giggled and turned into his arms with a smile. Leaning down, he kissed her gently.<p>

"Hey Baby." He said with a smile.

"Hey Puck."

He wasn't sure he'd ever like the sound of 'Puck' after being called 'Noah' for so long. He shook off the thought when he realised that he didn't want to be called Noah either.

"Did you hear about Finn and Rachel?" Jenny asked him as he walked her to class.

He avoided her gaze and shrugged casually.

"Apparently they had a big fight after prom." She continued, watching for some change in expression. The two of them hadn't ever really talked about his feelings for Rachel but everyone with eyes knew how he'd felt about her.

Puck hummed in response before kissing her cheek and heading to his own class. He stopped by the prom picture display and smiled at the new picture of him and Quinn in their crowns. She had gone back to Sam earlier that year but it had been a huge moment for the two of them. He may not be in love with his baby mama but she would always be one of his best friends.

"She looks beautiful." His whole body tensed as Rachel stepped up beside him. He closed his eyes for a moment to get his breathing under control.

"Noah, listen-" She trailed off when he turned his back on her and walked away without ever looking in her direction.

He wasn't surprised when she caught up with him during lunch. He had made his excuses to Jenny and spent lunch out on the bleachers so he could be alone. In hindsight the bleachers wasn't the best place to hide from her. He stared out on the field, unmoving as he saw her walking up the steps in his periphery. She sat beside him and he fought the urge to run or move away from her. The two of them sat there for what felt like forever before she spoke.

"Finn and I aren't together anymore." She announced.

Puck didn't move an inch or acknowledge her words as he continued to stare out onto the field.

"I just thought you'd like to know." She continued quietly when she realised he had no intention of responding in any way.

Puck counted to ten before rising to his feet and walking away from her without a glance for the second time that day.

Things continued like this for a week. Rachel would find him whenever Jenny wasn't around and try to draw him out. He would sit patiently until she had finished speaking and leave again without so much as looking at her. He noticed once or twice that Finn had moved on quickly and the word was that he'd dumped Rachel so that he could live out the last month of school as a single man. Knowing that Rachel was only trying to gain his attention for this reason did nothing in her favour. Things with Jenny were more than a little awkward because he knew that his girlfriend had heard about Rachel's attempts to gain his attention. She never said a word but it hung between the two of them and he just didn't know what to say. So he didn't. He hadn't spoken to anyone really since Rachel had started harassing him.

Glee had been awkward in a way that had him plugging into his IPod and counting the minutes each lesson. Everyone seemed to have an opinion on the current drama and he wasn't interested in hearing any of it. Without asking he knew that Mercedes, Kurt and Brittany wanted a Puckleberry reunion. He knew that Quinn, Sam, Blaine and Santana wanted Puck to move on and for Rachel to leave him to it. Everyone else was no doubt hoping that they could get to Nationals before all the shit hit the fan. Finn no doubt wanted Berry to stay single for him because that was how he'd always been.

He'd been listening to his music again and hadn't realised that the class had been dismissed. He looked up in horror to note that only he and Berry remained. He started to pack up his things but knew that she had no intention of letting him leave without acknowledging her. He pulled a bud out of his ear and just waited for whatever bullshit she had for him today.

"Noah. I understand that you're upset with me but I thought that after what happened at prom we could-"

"Berry, you say another God-damned word and I'll put you in the fucking hospital. Puck, let's go." Santana was standing in the doorway and the way her eyes glinted he knew that she wouldn't leave without him. He also knew that by the audible gasp from behind him that Rachel knew she wasn't kidding. He shot Santana a look of gratitude and left the two girls behind. He could vaguely hear Santana threatening Rachel in Spanish as he walked away.

The black eye that Rachel's makeup hadn't quite been able to hide the next morning told him that Rachel hadn't taken Santana seriously enough. Realising that he just wanted to be done with all of this crap, he found himself writing a new song. The kind of song that no one wanted to inspire but she was his cruel and selfish muse and he had every intention of letting her know.

Puck sat in front of the Glee club and began to strum on his guitar. He hadn't even looked at her since prom night but that was about to change. He had promised himself he wasn't going to talk to her but he was going to sing to her. He took a few breaths to steady himself before adding his lyrics to the music.

**I heard the word,  
>It's goin' all around town.<br>Looks like your latest toy gone and**

**Put you down.**

His eyes moved to meet hers and he held her gaze angrily.

**Well it won't be long,  
>'Fore you come crawling on home.<br>Like some old dog with your tail on the ground.**

He ignored the way her eyes flashed in anger and offense and continued to tell her exactly what he thought of her games.

**I'm listenin' to your Beg and your Plead.**  
><strong>Don't fill my heart with no pity.<strong>  
><strong>What makes you think I'm gonna take you back again,<strong>  
><strong>I ain't your Repo Man.<strong>

He heard various gasps around the choir room but his eyes never left hers.

**Used to be,**  
><strong>Just you and me.<strong>  
><strong>So young and in love,<strong>  
><strong>Just like it was meant to be.<strong>  
><strong>Well it didn't take long,<strong>  
><strong>Fore' I begin to see,<strong>  
><strong>That you got eyes for every man on the street.<strong>

He could see that her anger was just barely controlled beneath the surface. She was furious and he almost cracked a smile.

**I'm listenin' to your Beg and your Plead.**  
><strong>Don't fill my heart with no pity.<strong>  
><strong>What makes you think I'm gonna take you back again,<strong>  
><strong>I ain't your Repo Man.<strong>

He heard Blaine hush an angry Kurt coldly. His glare intensified towards Rachel as tears welled up in her eyes.

**It's like you think I got revolvin' doors on my house,**  
><strong>Like you can just come and go as you please.<strong>  
><strong>I'm 'bout to do what your daddy shoulda done,<strong>  
><strong>I'm gonna lay you right across my knee.<strong>

The tears disappeared as she huffed in fury at his words. He was humiliating her and somewhere deep, deep down he felt a little bad about it. But he needed for her to just leave him alone. This wasn't a love story. She didn't love him, hell she didn't even like him most days. She just wanted him to make her feel good.

**I work like a devil,**  
><strong>Every night and every day,<strong>  
><strong>Bustin' my back,<strong>  
><strong>Just to make my pay.<strong>  
><strong>Now where is your woman you ask,<strong>  
><strong>'Cause, as they say, while the cat's away...<strong>

This wasn't a love story and when the song ended the two of them weren't going to kiss and make up. She would yell and he would walk away. The end.

**I'm listenin' to your Beg and your Plead.**  
><strong>Don't fill my heart with no pity.<strong>  
><strong>What makes you think I'm gonna take you back again,<strong>  
><strong>I ain't your Repo Man.<strong>

"What the fuck was that?" Rachel screamed in anger. He was actually shocked that she allowed him to finish the song at all.

"Rachel!" Schue yelled in surprise. He wasn't the only one who was surprised by her language.

Puck's gaze didn't leave her face as he decided to delay his promise to never talk to her again. Raising his chin and glaring at her fiercely he finally answered her.

"You always wanted to have songs written about you." He snapped.

"No one wants a song like that written about them!" She yelled back.

She huffed when his cold expression turned into a sneer.

"Then maybe you shouldn't treat people like shit. Maybe you shouldn't tell people that you love them if you don't mean it." He snarled.

Rachel had the decency to blush when the club gasped at his words. The cat was out of the bag.

"I-"

"I don't want to hear it. You don't love me and you never did. You just fucked me to make you feel better about yourself when Finn didn't want you. There's no reason to pretend otherwise."

"Noa-"

"Don't call me that. I told you to leave me alone and I meant it. I loved you. But you aren't you anymore. I can't stand to even look at you. I hope you get everything you wanted Berry, but if you don't grow the hell up Karma is going to make you her bitch."

"But-"

"No. We have a month left. We have to see each other for one more month. We'll compete in Nationals and graduate. Then I never want to see you again," He turned towards the door and was halfway out when he threw one last remark over his shoulder. "I'm not your repo man. I'm better than this bullshit. I'm done."

This time, she believed him.

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><p><strong>Dont hate me, the next chapter will be quite long and it'll be set in the future. Let me know what you think. Thanks.<strong>


	5. Not Over You

**Hey guys. So once again I received some negative messages about this story. So let me be clear. The Rachel in this story isn't the Rachel of my other stories. She isn't just kind of thoughtless and naive sometimes. She's the Rachel whose been written on the show. She's kind of cutthroat and totally selfish. Finn is her only goal outside of Broadway and she doesn't care who she hurts in the process. Puck didn't hear her out because she didn't care about him, she didn't suddenly find herself in love with him. She felt alone and bad about herself so she wanted to use him once more. So he said no as he should have. Santana stepped in because she was hurting his best friend and she had no intention of letting up. **

**This is in no way my actual view of Rachel because I adore her. For this story I went with the show's inconsistent and selfish Rachel instead of my own. Puck told Rachel to grow the hell up and they left it there in high school. This story takes place ten years in the future once Rachel has had some time to really think over her actions and follow his advice.**

**I apologize for the mini-rant, I just get really frustrated when readers tell me how I should be writing and don't take the time to understand that what I'm writing is AU.**

**The songs used in this fic are Not over you by Gavin Degraw, Fallen by Sarah McLachlan, The one that got away by Katy Perry, Rewind by Diane Birch, Midnight Bottle by Colbie Caillat, The Lonely by Christina Perri, Everywhere by Michelle Branch. Enjoy!**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

><p>Puck breezed into his office, shutting the door behind him. He threw the package on the desk before shedding his jacket and taking a seat. He settled into his seat and stared at the offending envelope on his desk. It had been ten years since he graduated and left Rachel Berry and Lima behind for good. He was a successful record producer in New York and he had managed to avoid running into her. So he was less than pleased that Santana of all people had handed him her first album and insisted that he listened to it. Apparently she'd done what she could on Broadway and moved into recording music.<p>

He had always felt a little bad about the way that their problems had caused a rift in the club. As far as he knew Santana, Sam and Quinn hadn't spoken to her since they all graduated. He knew that she and Blaine had kept in touch but his friend had never mentioned it for which he was very grateful. He continued to stare at the package as he tried to figure out what the fuck Santana was thinking.

It had been ten years but everything that had happened still hurt him deeply. He had been sure of forever with Rachel and she'd used him. Every relationship he'd had since had failed eventually because he just couldn't trust women the way he needed to. Hell the album he'd recorded before moving into producing had been all about her. Only one of them hadn't been about an evil ex. Unsurprisingly 'Not Over You' had gone platinum and now he had to hear it everywhere he went. He had always kind of hoped she'd never heard it.

He finally reached for the envelope and opened it. He dumped the contents on his desk and studied them suspiciously. First he reached for a handwritten note from San.

_Puck,_

_I know you never wanted to hear her name again and I promise that I'll never mention her again._

_Just listen to the songs and take a look at her CD sleeve. _

_She wrote all of them._

_Just listen please. I want to see you move on from this. This will at the very least give you some closure._

_Satan_

He glared at the note but had a hard time faulting her when she only had his best interests at heart. He called his assistant out front and told her that he didn't want to be disturbed for the rest of the afternoon. He crossed the room and fixed himself a strong drink before inserting her CD into his equipment and pressing play. He laid out on his couch and put an arm over his eyes as her voice invaded his head for the first time since graduation.

**Heaven bend to take my hand **

**And lead me through the fire**

**Be the long awaited answer**

**To a long and painful fight**

**Truth be told I've tried my best**

**But somewhere along the way**

**I got caught up in all there was to offer**

**And the cost was so much more than I could bear**

**Though I've tried, I've fallen**

**I have sunk so low**

**I messed up**

**Better I should know**

Puck mashed the button on his remote to change the song. He closed his eyes again with a sigh as the next song began. He was a little surprised by how poppy the sound was. He only made it halfway through the chorus before he hated it.

**In another life**

**I would be your girl**

**We'd keep all our promises**

**Be us against the world**

He skipped to the next song once again.

**There are many things that I would like to say to you**

**But I don't have the words in my head**

**Days are passing by and all the leaves are changing too**

**But time won't change the things unsaid**

**Everything is different now**

**I'd really like to tell you how**

**How I wanted you here by my side**

**I know what I said but I lied**

**It looked like I laughed but I cried**

**Oh I wish that I could push rewind**

**Wow stupid pride it just can't hide **

**The holes in my heart**

'**Cause I need you here with me**

**I wish I could take it back**

Puck changed the song once more. He was going to kill Santana.

**Midnight bottle take me calmly through my memories and everything will come back to me**

**Midnight bottle make it real, what feels like make believe so I can see a little more clearly**

**Every single move you make, kissing me so carefully on the corners of my dreaming eyes**

**I've got a midnight bottle**

**Gonna drink it down**

**A one way ticket takes me to the times we had before**

**When everything felt so right.**

Puck stopped the music completely and tried to control his temper. He was so pissed at Santana. What the hell was she thinking, making him listen to this shit? He rose from the couch and grabbed the CD case off of his desk. He threw it against the wall and watched with some satisfaction when it shattered. He stared at the broken pieces for a few moments before snatching up the sleeve from the mess. He took another deep breath and sat back on the couch.

_Special thanks to my fathers for always believing in me. To Kurt for the always necessary fashion advice. And mostly to Noah._

His heart stuttered to a stop before picking back up at triple speed.

_He truly loved me despite the horrible person I had become. A million apologies could never make up for the way I treated him. All of the songs on this album were inspired by him. Noah inspired only greatness and I truly hope that he has found everything he was searching for. Noah, this one's for you._

He read over the words over and over again.

"Huh." Well that would explain why Santana had insisted on giving him this CD. He absentmindedly reached for the remote and skipped over the songs that he'd already heard.

**Two AM where do I begin**

**Crying off my face again**

**The silent sound of loneliness**

**Wants to follow me to bed**

**I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most**

**I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well**

**Dancing slowly in an empty room**

**Can the lonely take the place of you**

**I sing myself a quiet lullaby**

**Let you go and let the lonely in**

**To take my heart again**

**Too afraid to go outside**

**For the pain of one more loveless night**

**For the loneliness will stay with me**

**And hold me til I fall asleep**

**I'm the ghost of a girl that i want to be most**

**I'm the shell of a girl that i used to know well**

**Dancing slowly in an empty room**

**Can the lonely take the place of you**

**I sing myself a quiet a lullaby**

**And let you go and let the lonely in**

**To take my heart again**

**Broken pieces of**

**A barely breathing story**

**Where there once was love**

**Now there's only me**

**And the lonely**

**Dancing slowly in an empty room**

**Can the lonely take the place of you**

**I sing myself a quiet lullaby**

**Let you go and let the lonely in**

**To take my heart again**

Puck found himself reeling from the words and the emotion in her voice. He had honestly never believed she'd love him back. Not for one moment after she chose Finn. She missed him, that much was clear.

**Turn it inside out so I can see**

**The part of you that's drifting over me**

**And when I wake you're never there**

**And when I sleep you're everywhere**

**You're everywhere**

**Just tell me how I got this far**

**Just tell me why you're here and who you are**

**Coz every time I look you're never there**

**And every time I sleep you're always there**

**Coz you're everywhere to me**

**And when I close my eyes it's you I see**

**You're everything I know that makes me believe**

**I'm not alone**

**I'm not alone**

**I recognize the way you make me feel**

**It's hard to think that you might not be real**

**I sense that now the waters getting deep**

**I try to wipe the pain away from me**

**Away from me**

**Coz you're everywhere to me**

**And when I close my eyes it's you I see**

**You're everything I know that makes me believe**

**I'm not alone **

**I'm not alone**

**When I touch your hand**

**It's then I understand**

**The beauty that's within**

**It's now that we begin**

**You always light my way**

**There never comes a day **

**No matter where I go **

**I always feel you so**

**Coz you're everywhere to me**

**And when I close my eyes it's you I see**

**You're everything I know that makes me believe**

**I'm not alone**

**Coz you're everywhere to me**

**And when I catch my breath it's you I breathe**

**You're everything I know that makes me believe**

**I'm not alone**

**You're everyone I see**

**So tell me do you see me**

Puck was totally at a loss for what to do now. He had spent the last ten years trying to hate her. He sat back at his desk and noticed a small slip of paper with Santana's handwriting on it. It was an address. Before he'd had time to think about it, he had grabbed his jacket and was hailing a cab. He handed the address to the cabbie and settled into his seat, staring once more at the CD sleeve that he had yet to put down. He was jarred from his thoughts when he felt the cab halt.

"Here." He tossed some bills at the cabbie and jumped out of the cab.

He ran up the steps of the little town house and banged on the door. He took a step back and tried to catch his breath. The door opened and his eyes landed on Rachel Berry for the first time in ten years. Damn if she hadn't changed much. Her hair was shorter and she was dressed in jeans and a tank top but that was it.

"Noah." She breathed out in shock.

"Did you mean it?" He demanded as he waved the CD sleeve in her face.

"Of course I meant it." She whispered as her eyes moved over him hungrily.

"Why now?" He barked.

Her eyes moved to his and held his gaze a little sadly before she answered him.

"It's not just now Noah," he opened his mouth to remark but she shook her head. "I was selfish in high school. I was horrible to you and I can never apologize enough. But it isn't just now. I realised about five minutes after you walked from me for the last time that I had changed and become truly horrible. I realised a week after I moved here alone just how much I missed you. About a year after that I realised exactly what I had thrown away."

He stared at her, speechless.

"It isn't just now. I've been writing those songs since the minute I realised exactly who you were to me. I've been writing these songs for nine years." She continued quietly.

"Why didn't you-" he started.

"Tell you? You said you never wanted to see me again," she shook her head sadly. "You hated me and I could never blame you for it. You asked me to leave you alone and no matter how much it hurt to do so I did. The irony of the situation is not lost on me. I finally chose you but it was too late."

Puck sat on her front steps as he tried to digest everything she had just said. She sat next to him, leaving some space. She had changed. The Rachel Berry he walked away from would have chased him no matter how much it hurt him. This Rachel was telling him that she'd willingly broken her own heart for the past nine years to save him from any more pain.

"I'm so sorry that I was too late. You're it for me and by the time I figured it out you were gone. I deserve this and I know it. I just wish that I hadn't caused you so much hurt," he didn't flinch when she rested her palm on his arm gently. "Finn and I were perfect for each other in high school Noah. We were both selfish and horrible. You were and are so much better than the person I was. I truly hope that you've found happiness."

He looked into her eyes and believed her. He believed that if he told her that he'd fallen in love and had a family she would be happy for him, despite her own heartbreak. He felt the knot in his chest loosen. He also noticed that she hadn't asked him for forgiveness. She just wished him well and that made all the difference.

"I have missed you more than I could have ever believed it would be possible," She finished with tears in her eyes. "If I had paid attention to you more than I would have realised just what I was about to lose. You're a lot to lose Noah."

"I don't hate you. But I have a lot to think about." He stood up and looked down at her.

She smiled weakly and he found that the smile he returned was genuine. He headed down the stairs and back onto the sidewalk. He turned to face her once more and realised that the sight of her didn't hurt him anymore.

"I'll see you around Rachel." He promised with a smile before walking away.

The smile that he received was blinding.

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><p><strong>I hope you guys enjoyed it. I spent quite a bit of time putting her CD together and while I realise the music was all very different I just loved the songs for their situation. I don't plan on adding anymore to this story, as it was originally supposed to be a one-shot and I feel like I'd spend too many chapters navigating their reunion. Let me know what you think. Thanks!<strong>


	6. When You're Gone

**Just another quick oneshot. I'm not sure why they're all so angsty but I'll do my best to write some fluffy ones. Enjoy!**

**I own nothing.**

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><p>She hadn't meant it. The fight had come out of nowhere and caught her by surprise. Things had fizzled with Finn and Noah had been there for her, picking up the pieces. He asked her out and they had been together for three months. She had thought that they had moved past all of the tension. She hadn't expected him to freak out when Mr. Schuester inevitably paired her with Finn for the duet at Nationals. She had been surprised that he would even want the duet and had failed to support him when he appealed to their director for a chance.<p>

"_Come on Schue. I'm every bit as talented as him!" Puck yelled as he stood in his chair. "Finchel fucked up Nationals last year."_

"_Puck! Finn and Rachel have proven chemistry and-" _

"_Yeah! We all remember. The T-rex eating the jew and costing us the competition." Puck snarled._

"_Puck! My decision is final." Schuester declared._

_Puck glared around the room, looking at his friends and girlfriend for support. His eyes narrowed angrily when Rachel didn't speak up._

"_Fine." He snapped before turning and walking out of the room._

"_Noah!" Rachel called as she chased him into the hallway, grabbing his arm and pulling him to a stop right outside the open door._

"_Leave me alone." He bit out, not looking at her._

"_I don't understand why you're being like this." She admitted, flinching when he turned towards her furiously._

"_Are you kidding me? I don't want to spend the rest of our year watching you and fucking Finn macking on each other. I put in my time as the backup. It would have been nice to have my girlfriend believe I was talented enough to sing with her. But I guess you don't think I am." He finished dejectedly, staring at a spot just over her head._

"_Noah! Finn and I do in fact have proven chemistry and-"_

"_Really?" He yelled. "That's all you got from what I said? Screw this. Enjoy Finn. I'm done." _

_She stared at him in shock and only found her voice as he turned away from her once more. She could hear the Glee club buzzing in the choir room about what they had heard._

"_What do you mean done?" She asked quietly._

"_I mean that I'm done pretending we belong together. You've been chasing that stupid asshole for years and using me when he didn't want you. I was stupid to think that this time was any different. If you cared about me at all you'd understand. You'd understand that I've spent the last three years waiting for my shot with you and that I don't want you to choose Finn again. But you did. If you loved me you would believe in me and you don't. So good luck with Finn because we're over." He sighed heavily before turning away from her and walking away._

It had been a month and he hadn't so much as looked in her direction. Glee club practices had been tense and she was sure that he would quit if they had enough people to compete without him. She had spent most of it pretending that she wasn't upset and sticking to her assertion that he had blown everything out of proportion. She had continued to stubbornly feel that way until just two days ago. Two days ago she had overheard Noah's mother and grandmother talking at temple and she finally understood.

"_I'm so disappointed in him. He finally had a nice Jewish girlfriend and he messed it up. The one thing he's done right and he probably cheated on her. He's just like his father." Ava Puckerman fretted to her mother._

Rachel had left Temple immediately and burst into tears. No one believed in him, no one ever chose him and she was no different. She had chosen a probable win at Nationals over him. She had chosen her ex-boyfriend over him despite his incredible talent. He had thought she believed in him and she had ripped that hope away from him publicly. No wonder he wouldn't look at her.

Rachel raised her hand meekly when Mr. Schuester asked if anyone had anything prepared. He nodded and took a seat as she stood in front of the club. Noah was sitting in the back corner by himself. He didn't look at her and she blinked back the tears as she stared at him. She noticed in her periphery that Finn was gazing at her hopefully and the guilt twisted in her stomach. Noah had every reason to be upset, to distrust Finn.

"I made a terrible mistake a month ago. I chose the easy path instead of the right one. Mr. Schuester there is so much talent in this club that goes unused because of Finn and myself. I've always been selfish with my solos but I never realised just how mean I could be until it cost me the only person that really matters. I'm so sorry Noah, I do believe in you. You're going to be great with or without me." She sighed quietly when he continued to avoid her gaze. Nodding towards the band the music began to play and she stood behind the mike stand.

**I always needed time on my own  
>I never thought I'd need you there when I cry<br>And the days feel like years when I'm alone  
>And the bed where you lie is made up on your side<strong>

She had spent so much time taking him for granted. So much time just taking advantage.

**When you walk away I count the steps that you take**  
><strong>Do you see how much I need you right now<strong>

She sang the words to a boy who wouldn't look at her. She was worried that there was no way to apologize enough. She knew that his mother only saw his father when she looked at him and she should have known better than to treat him the way she had.

**When you're gone**  
><strong>The pieces of my heart are missing you<strong>  
><strong>When you're gone<strong>  
><strong>The face I came to know is missing too<strong>  
><strong>When you're gone<strong>  
><strong>The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok<strong>  
><strong>I miss you<strong>

Her life had lost so much colour since he walked away. He had become so important to her in the time that they had been together.

**I've never felt this way before  
>Everything that I do reminds me of you<br>And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor  
>And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do<strong>

He had been such a big part of her life for so long and him not talking to her hurt more than she could have ever guessed.

**When you walk away I count the steps that you take**  
><strong>Do you see how much I need you right now<strong>

She continued to stare at him and he continued to stare at the wall above her head.

**When you're gone  
>The pieces of my heart are missing you<br>When you're gone  
>The face I came to know is missing too<br>When you're gone  
>The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok<br>I miss you**

His absence caused her greater pain than Finn's ever had. Only she could fail to notice how amazing he was until it was too late.

**We were made for each other**  
><strong>Out here forever<strong>  
><strong>I know we were, yeah<strong>  
><strong>All I ever wanted was for you to know<strong>  
><strong>Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul<strong>  
><strong>I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah<strong>

Rachel walked up the risers and knelt in front of him. Singing to him from her knees, the tears fell freely. She reached up to touch his face and watched as he fought an inner battle before his eyes lowered to meet hers. The tears fell faster as she saw the betrayal shining there.

**When you're gone  
>The pieces of my heart are missing you<br>When you're gone  
>The face I came to know is missing too<br>When you're gone  
>The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok<br>I miss you**

The class remained silent as Rachel and Puck stared at each other. His hand instinctively reached out to wipe away her tears despite the silent accusations in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "You are so incredible that sometimes I forget to tell you. You're talented and handsome and kind. You're smart and loyal. You're everything I've needed and you have waited patiently for me to figure it out. You are so special Noah and I sometimes forget that you don't know just how great you are," She tangled her fingers in his and continued earnestly. "You are nothing like your father. You are so much more than the backup. I wish you wouldn't compare yourself to Finn. You are nothing like him and I love you for it. I love you Noah."

His eyes widened at the declaration and darted around to the shocked expressions of his classmates before turning back to her.

"I love you." She repeated with a sad smile.

Noah leaned down and captured her lips gently. He pulled back and rested his forehead against hers.

"I love you too."

Rachel stood up with a grin on her face and sat next to him.

"Schuester? I plan on taking that duet." Puck announced lightly as he smiled at Rachel.

This time no one disagreed with him.

* * *

><p><strong>Just a little one-shot to tide everyone along as I write some more for my other stories.<strong>


	7. Beg, Steal, Borrow

**So I read a spoiler that Puck's dad is coming back. This is how I see that going. The song is Beg, steal, borrow by Ray Lamontagne. Enjoy!**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

><p>Eli Puckerman was back.<p>

Rachel had known an hour after he arrived. She'd been out for her morning run and was twenty feet from the Puckerman household when she heard yelling. She slowed to a stop in time to see Noah punch an older man, yelling obscenities. She began sprinting towards them when the older man hit him back. She watched her friend drop to the ground at the force of the fourth or fifth hit and heard Ava Puckerman yelling in the background. Noah hadn't moved from his place on the ground and she felt herself panicking as she ran towards them. The older man was yelling at the prone boy and Rachel felt anger coursing through her veins. Launching herself at him she caught him by surprise and they both landed on the ground. She realised who he was as she scrambled to her feet. Eli Puckerman had returned. Her eyes landed back on Noah who appeared to be dazed and bleeding. She lost herself in a rage and aimed a kick into the older man's ribs. He looked at her angrily and for a moment fear took the place of her anger. He hustled to his feet and towards her before her courage returned.

"Take another step towards me you worthless Prick and I'll have your stupid ass in prison. My fathers are lawyers. Now just fucking leave!" She screamed at him. He glared at her furiously before taking a step back and glaring over her shoulder at Noah's mother. He turned to leave and Rachel dropped to her knees next to Noah. Her shrill voice and obscenities had stirred him and he was staring at her wide-eyed.

She was less than pleased when he asked her to leave. His mother echoed the sentiment with some embarrassment.

Noah wasn't at school that day. Or the next. She called and texted him but received no reply.

When he returned the following Monday he had a brand new black eye on display and refused to talk to anyone. He skipped both of their shared classes and Glee club. The rumours were flying around McKinley and she was surprised by how much of the chatter was true. Everyone knew that Puck's loser dad had returned. She watched him storm down the halls for a week and she was greatly concerned.

Noah wasn't attending classes or acknowledging his friends. He hadn't been to Glee and she had seen him slushy a freshman twice this week. He had been disappearing in and out of various closets with uncouth cheerleaders daily.

The following Monday Rachel arrived to Glee a little late and was surprised to walk in on a conversation about Noah.

"Puck's old man's back." Mercedes said, rubbing her hands together at the juicy gossip.

"I heard. He's been acting like his old self all week." Kurt replied.

"Yeah, he's acting like a real loser. He's acting just like his dad." Finn added knowingly.

Rachel stopped and just stared at them. None of her friends, or boyfriend seemed concerned about him. Most of them couldn't know just how bad things were when Mr. Puckerman was in the picture. But Finn knew. He'd told her about the black eyes and bruises on Noah before the bastard ditched his family. He was gossiping about him instead of acting like his friend.

"Enough." Rachel said angrily.

Her friends turned to face her in confusion.

"He's our friend. Aren't you concerned?" She asked anxiously.

"I'm worried that I'll have to start bringing a change of clothes again, if that's what you mean." Mercedes answered worriedly, Kurt's eyebrows raised in concern.

"Oh my Gucci! I haven't had to worry about replacing soiled clothing in years!" Kurt screeched.

"Finn?" Rachel asked as she turned from her 'friends' in disbelief.

"I don't know what you want Rach. He's always been a loser, it's genetic." He replied honestly.

Rachel shook her head in shock as she tried to formulate a response.

"Shut the hell up Nipples!" Santana yelled as she walked up behind Rachel.

"Seriously lame of you dude." Sam declared beside Santana.

Blaine stepped up to Rachel and she noticed that he was aiming a look of disgust at his boyfriend.

"Kurt?"

"What? Puck was never my friend. I'm more worried about finding a replacement voice for our competitions this year. Although he's not the most talented member." Kurt answered as he studied his nails.

Blaine's expression mirrored Rachel's before he turned away from his boyfriend to face Rachel, Sam and Santana.

"What's the plan?" Santana asked Rachel.

Rachel stared at the three of them for a moment as a plan formed in her mind.

"I was there when he came back," She ignored Finn's shout of outrage and smiled when Santana flipped him the bird. "I was out running and I saw him hit Noah. I may or may not have tackled Eli to the ground and kicked him in the ribs before threatening legal action-"

"Damn, Midget ninja!" Mike said with a whistle as he joined their little group, ignoring the others.

"Thank you Michael. He left but Noah and his mother asked me to leave and Noah has been behaving strangely ever since. I'm afraid that Ava has allowed Eli to come back to the house and Noah is acting out because he's upset," Rachel chewed on her lip worriedly. "He's always been sensitive about his father and I will not allow him to throw away his future because of that wretched man."

"Yeah, well everyone's been comparing the two of them for the last week." Santana replied with a glare towards Finn, Mercedes and Kurt.

"Exactly. Noah no doubt has heard the whispers and believes the comparisons." Rachel announced sadly.

"Rachel, don't worry about-" Finn started, stopping when his girlfriend turned on him furiously.

"Enough, Finn Hudson. If you say another word, we are over. Do you understand?" she snapped before turning back to Santana.

"He's not a loser though," Sam said. "He's pretty smart and dude can shred on a guitar."

"Exactly. We just need to remind him that despite what some _assholes_-" Rachel glared over her shoulder in emphasis. "-Think. He's not a loser and he's nothing like his father."

They all heard the others huff from the risers but ignored them.

"I think I have the perfect song," Rachel admitted. "I just need the four of you to get him here."

It took another week to put the plan into action. Rachel stood by unhappily as she watched Noah continue to act out. She was relieved when the news of her breakup with Finn and then the breakup of Blaine and Kurt deflected some attention away from Noah. People were too busy gossiping about the breakups and she noticed that Noah's shoulders were just a little less tense, his scowl a little less defined.

"Berry you're gonna have to do it." Santana announced one day as she met Rachel at her locker. "Blaine asked him at fight club. Sam and Mike have been on him during their classes. Hell I offered him a threesome and he wouldn't go for it. He'll say yes to you. He always does."

Rachel nodded thoughtfully and headed towards Noah's locker. No time like the present.

"Noah." She called as she approached him in the nearly empty hallway. She saw his shoulders tense as he closed his locker and started to walk away. Hurrying her steps she reached out and laced her fingers through his, pulling him to a stop. He stopped but continued to look in the other direction.

"Please look at me. I've been so worried about you." She said quietly.

His eyes moved to hers and she understood why he hadn't talked to her since the incident. The shame was there on display as she gazed into his eyes. He was embarrassed.

"I'm sure that you would like to be left alone, especially by me. I witnessed something you would prefer to have dealt with by yourself. Please come to Glee with me," He shook his head and she stepped closer to him. "Please Noah. Just this once and then I'll leave you alone if that's what you really want."

He stared at her for a few moments before nodding slowly. She pulled him to the choir room and took a seat with him at the back. She saw his eyes studying his surroundings, very much aware that three members were missing. Mr. Schuester was at the front explaining that the three of them had been asked to take a few weeks to get their priorities straight before returning to the club. Rachel smiled at her teacher softly because she was proud of him for putting Noah's needs first. Squeezing his hand, she released his fingers and headed to the front of the classroom.

"I've prepared this song. Please just listen." She pleaded her eyes on Noah. When he nodded, the music began and she watched as recognition dawned on him. Ray Lamontagne was his favourite artist after all.

**So your hometown's bringin' you down**

**Are you drownin' in the small talk and the chatter?**

**Are you gonna step into line like your Daddy done?**

**Punchin; the time and climbing life's long ladder**

His eyes didn't leave hers as she sang his story.

**You've been howlin' at the moon like a slack-jawed fool**

**And breaking every rule they can thrown on**

**Well, one of these days is gonna be right soon**

**You'll find your legs and go and stay gone**

She smiled as she encouraged him to leave the past and this town behind him.

**Young man, full of big plans**

**And thinkin' about tomorrow**

**Young man, gonna make a stand**

**You beg, you steal, you borrow**

**You beg, you steal, you borrow**

His eyes clouded thoughtfully and she snuck as glance over at her friends. The class was full of people who believed in him. Mercedes, Kurt and Finn wouldn't be welcome until they grew up.

**Pull all the friends that you knew in school**

**They used to be so cool, now they just bore you**

**Well look at 'em now, already pullin' the plow**

**So quick to take to grain like some old mule**

Rachel grinned at Noah as Santana, Sam, Blaine and Mike joined her at the front and sang to him.

**Young man, full of big plans**

**And thinkin' about tomorrow**

**Young man, gonna make a stand**

**You beg, you steal, you borrow**

**You beg, you steal, you borrow**

The friends sang to him and she saw a ghost of a smile cross his features.

**Dreamin' of the day you're gonna pack your bags**

**Put the miles away**

**Oh, just grab your girl and go where no one knows you**

**What will all the old folks say?**

Quinn and Brittany joined the group at the front and sang to him. Rachel watched as his eyes moved to Quinn and didn't misread the smile on his lips. Quinn had called him a Lima Loser constantly in the past and it had cut him so deeply. She was effectively telling him how wrong she had been. Rachel could see just how much that meant to him.

**So the hometown's bringin' you down**

**Are you drownin' in the small talk and the chatter?**

**Are you gonna step into line like your daddy done?**

**Punchin' the time and climbing life's long ladder**

The rest of the club, including Schuester joined them at the front. Noah sat alone in the risers with a huge grin on his face. There wasn't a trace of anger or doubt on his face. She could see the tightly controlled emotions in his eyes as he fought to keep the tears at bay.

**Young man, full of big plans**

**And thinkin' about tomorrow**

**Young man, gonna make a stand**

**You beg, you steal, you borrow**

**You beg, you steal, you borrow.**

He clapped his hands as they finished singing to him. His eyes were wet as he moved to the front of the class. Rachel smiled as the group surrounded him in a group hug. Eventually Mr. Schue dismissed them and after individual hugs, the group began to leave the class. Rachel stood beside Noah patiently until everyone had left before turning into his arms. He pulled her tight to his chest and she felt him begin to shake as he let the sobs out. She held onto him tightly, feeling the tears falling into her hair. She rubbed his back and whispered words of encouragement. After a while his body began to still and his breathing evened out. She pulled him to a chair and sat on his lap. Leaning her head against his chest and closing her eyes as he wrapped his arms around her.

"You're nothing like him." She whispered.

She felt him tense up and looked up into his eyes, a hand cupping his cheek.

"You are so much more than him and you've barely begun your life. He's an angry, old man who's only got mistakes to look back on." She wiped at a stray tear on his cheek. "You're only 18 and you have your whole life ahead of you. You're already a better man than he has ever been. You'll get out of this town and you have people who love you that will be there every step of the way."

He rested his forehead against hers as he thought over her words.

"Finish high school and then grab your girl and go, Noah." She said softly and smiled when his eyes popped open and searched her face.

"My girl?" He asked desperately.

Rachel smiled and nodded.

There were only three people who were surprised when twelve hours after Graduation Puck packed his belongings and his girl into his truck and left Lima for good. No one else was surprised when every single one of his dreams came true. When his children asked him years later why he fell in love with their mother he answered simply, "She fought for everything she believed in; and there was nothing and no one she believed in more than me."

* * *

><p><strong>Let me know what you thought, please and thanks!<strong>


	8. Somebody That I Used To Know

**I've gotten a few messages lately asking me to add more one-shots. I have probably thirty unfinished oneshots/multichap fics on my computer, so I figured I'd add a few more. This one I started around the time of the Puck/Shelby disaster but never finished it. So tonight I blasted every version of Somebody I used to Know that I own on repeat and finished it. **

**I also get a lot of crap for always having Rachel be the bad guy. So I figured this might be a nice change of pace for the people who don't like that. I don't plan on extending this one. It's just a one-shot like most of the others in this collection.**

** I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

><p>Rachel clutched her books to her chest tightly as she made her way through the hallway. She did her best to block out the whispers of Puck's latest conquest. She was amazed that the students were impressed and not disgusted, gossiping in awe of his sexual prowess.<p>

"_Shelby?" "Yeah, I heard they've been screwing all year." "No way." "She looked thoroughly fucked this morning."_

Rachel did her best to swallow the bile rising up her throat. Wincing against the taste she bolted into the bathroom and dropped to her knees, emptying her stomach violently.

Apparently her total disgust overruled her non-existent gag reflex. She continued to heave as the situation swirled in her mind. Puck and Miss Corcoran. The Glee badass and the hot new teacher.

"_Remember when he was with her _daughter? _That's so twisted." "Trade up for sure."_

Noah and Shelby. Her Noah and her mother.

_Her _Noah? Her stomach heaved again and she couldn't catch her breath.

Rachel felt hot tears falling down her face as she tried to gain control of her body. She couldn't remember the last time she had been sick. Her fists clenched as sobs escaped between her retching.

How could they do it? _Why _would he do it? She expected only hurtful behaviour from Shelby but _Noah?_

After a few moments, she flushed the toilet and leaned back against the door. She couldn't find it in herself to care about the germs and dirt. Her fingers brushed at her wet cheeks but the tears continued to flow freely. Her jaw clenched. The gossipers were calling them _Pelby. _Pelby!

"Berry?"

Rachel hadn't heard the bathroom door open, but she sniffled in response and moved from the cubicle to meet Santana by the mirrors. She regarded her newly acquired friend in the mirror as she wiped at her tears and tried to rinse out her mouth.

"You know." Santana stated sadly.

Rachel splashed cold water on her face before accepting the paper towel that Santana was holding.

"So it's true?" Rachel asked quietly, her eyes finally rising to meet Santana's in the mirror.

Santana nodded as she continued to take in her appearance.

"It smells like barf in here, Berry." There was a hint of a question in her tone. She'd rather naively announced her lack of gag reflex back in sophomore year. _Puck _had been thrilled.

"Yes, well." Rachel trailed off with a shrug.

* * *

><p><strong>Now and then I think of when we were together<strong>

**Like when you said you felt so happy you could die**

Rachel stood in front of the club and gripped the microphone stand tightly. Her eyes were on the back wall and for the first time ever, she wasn't so sure that she wanted to perform.

**Told myself that you were right for me**

**But felt so lonely in your company**

**But that was love and it's an ache I still remember**

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She knew without looking that her Gleemates were all glancing around at each other in confusion. Her mood had been scary at best for the last two days and she wasn't trying to engage her audience at all.

**You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness**

**Like resignation to the end, always the end**

**So when we found that we could not make sense**

She forced her eyes open but couldn't make herself look up from the floor. She hadn't rehearsed the song. She hadn't done much of anything in the last two days.

**Well you said that we would still be friends**

**But I'll admit that I was glad it was over**

Her free hand clenched into a fist as her eyes finally travelled to Shelby. Her gaze must have contained every bit of anger and hurt that she was feeling because the woman's eyes widened and she visibly shrunk under her gaze.

**But you didn't have to cut me off**

**Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing**

**And I don't even need your love**

Her chin lifted in challenge as she delivered a final 'fuck you' to the woman who had never even tried to love her.

**But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough**

**No you didn't have to stoop so low**

She glared at the woman before her and felt the tiniest amount of satisfaction as Shelby's gaze dropped to hide the tears collected in her cold, brown eyes.

**Have you friends collect your records and then change your number**

**I guess I don't need that though**

**Now you're somebody that I used to know**

She took another deep breath before allowing her gaze to travel slowly around the room.

**Now you're just somebody that I used to know**

**Now you're just somebody that I used to know**

She was surprised to note that most of her classmates weren't comfortable looking at her. A few visibly shuddered before averting their gaze.

**Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over**

**Part of me believing it was always something that I'd done**

Santana's gaze held so much understanding that for the first time since she'd began singing, Rachel felt tears gathering in her eyes.

**But I don't wanna live that way**

**Reading into every word you say**

**You said that you could let it go**

**And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody you used to know**

She passed quickly over Finn's confused and slightly annoyed face and her eyes landed finally on his best friend.

**But you didn't have to cut me off**

**Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing**

**And I don't even need your love**

**But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough**

His eyes never once left hers. He knew without asking, in a way that no one else did, exactly what this song was about.

**And you didn't have to stop so low**

**Have your friends collect your records and then change your number**

**I guess I don't need that though**

The fact that understanding was clear on his face somehow cut her more deeply. He not only understood that she was hurt and angry but he had probably anticipated it.

**Now you're just somebody that I used to know**

His chin raised in challenge and Rachel forgot that there were others in the room. She almost shrieked the next line as she stomped towards him.

**Somebody**

**Now you're just somebody that I used to know**

He stood as she approached and she shoved two hands against his chest. Sounds of surprise filled the room but he showed no signs of life as he stared down at her.

**Somebody**

She shoved him again and he took a step back at the force of the hit.

**Now you're just somebody that I used to know**

Tears were clouding her vision and his mouth was downturned in the most beautiful frown. _Beautiful. _No sooner had the thought crossed her mind then she was punching every inch of him she could reach.

**I used to know**

His hands wrapped around her wrists as she sobbed out the final line. His eyes were angry but full of tears as she struggled against him. Finn was yelling over the surprised questions that filled the room but she could see and hear only _him. _

**Now you're just somebody that I used to know.**

He pulled her against his chest and she fought him every inch of the way. His hand was in her hair and she hated him for it. She didn't want his hands on her after- after _Shelby_.

"I hate you!" She yelled against his chest and she nearly fell backwards out of his grasp as he let go of her in surprise. "I hate you. I hate you!""

His hazel eyes were hard as her words crashed through the room. They betrayed nothing as her hand lashed out and the resounding smack silenced everyone in the room. Surprise filled her and her stinging hand covered her mouth. He stepped forward into her space and she almost stepped back.

"Anything else to say?" He whispered harshly, his cheek quickly reddening.

Tears streamed down her face as she glared up at the boy in front of her. "I thought I could forgive you for anything." She paused and watched as the words slowly sunk in. Something painful and confusing shot through his eyes before she continued. "But this? _Her?" _She trembled and stepped backwards when his arm shot out unconsciously to comfort her. "Why _her?"_

She was vaguely aware of the gasp that had fallen from Shelby's lips but she ignored it. He stood in front of her and he looked so much older than his years as he stared down at her. His eyes were so full of emotions she couldn't identify no matter how hard she tried. His hand reached out and cupped her face softly. She didn't move as she waited for his answer. She couldn't. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against her forehead so lightly she almost didn't feel it.

"She reminded me of somebody that I used to know." He whispered brokenly against her forehead.

He placed one last kiss against her hair before pulling away and walking out of the choir room.

* * *

><p>All hell had broken loose after Puck had walked out. The questions had been hurled at her by every person in the room but she had only been able to stare brokenly after him. Santana had been quick to defend her and eventually most of her classmates had left without the answers they so desperately wanted.<p>

Her breakup with Finn had been almost wordless. On her side anyways. He'd had plenty to say.

_She sat on the piano stool and randomly plucked at the keys in front of her as Finn yelled himself hoarse. She knew that her song had likely humiliated him but she couldn't find it in herself to care. It had been too hard of a week and she just didn't care. _

"_We're over!" Finn shouted finally and Rachel nodded. _

_She stood from the bench and left him yelling in surprise behind her. _

"Rachel!"

She turned to face the woman who'd given birth to her with cold indifference. She was aware of the attention they were attracting and was amazed that Shelby hadn't been fired yet. There was no way that the staff hadn't heard the rumours by now. It had been four days since people began talking about it and no one had stopped. A crowd seemed to be forming around the two of them as Rachel waited for Shelby to speak.

"We should probably talk." Shelby said finally.

"We have nothing to talk about Ms. Corcoran. I'm not your student and therefore we have nothing to discuss. You should probably focus on actually _teaching _your students." Rachel replied coolly before turning on her heel and walking away from her.

* * *

><p>She skipped Glee again that day. Instead she sat out on the bleachers and walked as the leaves fell. She hadn't really spoken to anyone since she'd performed in Glee the week before. She hadn't seen Puck around but she hadn't been paying much attention. Santana had been trying to catch her eye but Rachel didn't feel like talking about it.<p>

She shouldn't have sung in Glee. She wasn't even sure why she had. But everything had boiled up inside of her and suddenly she was standing in front of the club and singing the song that best described how she was feeling.

She'd done her best not to think too much about what he'd said before he walked away. Because she had changed. She knew that and she wasn't proud of it. But he'd still slept with her mother and there was no excuse for that.

"I wanted to hurt you."

Rachel jumped and realised he was sitting on the bleacher behind her. The scene was just opposite of when she'd broken up with him here and she felt like that was probably important.

"No kidding." She mumbled angrily.

He was silent for several moments.

"I've been in love with you for so long that I don't remember when it started." He continued, ignoring the way she turned in shock to face him. His eyes stared straight ahead. "I don't remember a time when you weren't my whole fucking world. And then you went back to him. Again. Always Finn. You two sang the song that _I'd _written for _you _and then you were making up and making out in front of me. And I hated you for it. I spent all summer trying not to be mad about it but I was. Because it should have been me but it wasn't." He blew out a breath, still refusing to meet her gaze. "And then we came back to school and you weren't even my friend anymore. You were just his girlfriend and I hated you even more for it. So then Shelby came back and we were spending time together and she was a poor man's Rachel. She was hot for me and I ignored it at first because she wasn't you and second best wasn't good enough."

He paused and rubbed both hands over his eyes. She opened her mouth but closed it again.

"Then fucking Finn showed up and was asking me for sex advice. Talking about how he was going to finally get into your pants and I wanted to kill him. And then I overheard you asking the girls for advice and I wanted you to hurt every bit as much as it all hurt me. Because it should have been me. I should have been the one who took your virginity and fucking _cherished _it. But I wasn't because it was never me and I saw red. So I started hitting on your mom. And that's shitty and you can hate me for it. Hell, I hate me for it. But then Finn was bragging about it and you were waxing poetic like it was special and not as disappointing as we both know it was. And it broke my heart. I couldn't deal with how much it hurt. So I fucked her. I fucked Shelby and I pretended the whole damn time that it was you. But it wasn't and I knew it. She's cold and you're warm. You look a bit alike but it ends there. I knew it was a mistake but I did it anyways. Because I hated you and I hated myself. So I did it. And I can't take it back."

Rachel stared up at him and willed him to look at her. It was so much, too much to process and he still hadn't looked at her.

"It did hurt me. It hurt me because she was the _one _person who should have been off-limits. But it hurt me in other ways too. And it's confusing. Because I am so mad at you that I can barely breathe but I also kind of understand where you're coming from. I picked you of all people to help me get revenge on Finn last year. I understand exactly where your motivation came from."

His eyes finally met hers and she saw only regret and remorse.

"This is a mess." She mumbled, looking away.

His hand reached out and cupped her cheek. "I'm sorry. I know that's not enough but I am."

"So am I, Noah." She was sorry for things she couldn't quite verbalize.

The two of them sat in silence until the sun set and he drove her home. They sat out in her driveway, not quite able to meet each other's gaze.

"I need time." She whispered finally.

He said nothing and she felt the need to continue.

"This is all so much and I'm not really sure how I feel. I feel too much right now and I can't separate it all." She turned from him and opened the door. She jumped onto the curb before turning to face him one last time. She stared at him until his tired eyes met hers. "I don't hate you Noah, not really. And you don't hate me. I'll forgive you eventually. Just give me some time."

The smile he gave her was small but it was something. The smile she returned was a promise. One that would take her several weeks to keep but keep it she did. They'd get past this and they'd grow from it. Although neither one of them were particularly fond of Gotye after that.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading.<strong>


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